Happy 10th Anniversary!

We have a picture frame in our home that says “From long ago and far away, love led us to our wedding day”. It has pictures of us from when we were children, and then a wedding picture from ten years ago. I look at it now, and think that ten years ago, we felt so young and think from our wedding day to now, we have only made our friendship, and then marriage even better.

-Engagement Picture-

As we have shared, we have had many memories, and many heartfelt moments over the last ten years. Those moments have helped us to learn, grow, and rely on one another for trust, love and support.

We have been eternally blessed because of our choice to be married in the San Diego Temple on that windy day ten years ago. As we knelt over the alter together, and knew the covenants we were choosing to make that day, and for all eternity, we made that choice together, and haven’t regretted it for a second.

Our First Anniversary, eating the top of our wedding cake.

Our path has been windy, full of bumpy gravel, and smooth sand. Sometimes, it’s been treacherous, and full of moments of doubt; there have also been times of great peace, and beautiful sunsets that have made us be willing to cement our relationship even further.

Anniversaries are cause to think back on where you’ve been, and how far you have come. It has been wonderful for me to do that this week. Ten Years, is momentous, a true time for celebration and that is exactly what we have done this week, and what we will continue to do when we visit Hawaii to celebrate ten years of loving, living, and laughing together.

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Happy Anniversary to my Best Friend, the one I truly love with all my heart. Today, Bret got Eternity cologne, as a reminder that our marriage is not only for time, but for all eternity.

The Haney's-2011

Our Tenth Year-Marriage

Marriage-It’s an interesting concept really. Two people miraculously find one another, and then decide they like one another enough to form a relationship. They date for sometimes several weeks, months or even years, and then decide to get married. They plan a life together; a life full of hopes and dreams, and mysteries and memories. They have bright eyed enthusiasm about the future, and are ready and waiting with open arms to see what life will offer them. They are aware that there may be thorns along the way of the rosy path, though hope it only stings for a second.

When Bret and I were married ten years ago, we met our future with that excitement, and the day we said “Yes” was one of the happiest days of our lives. We have had many cherished memories over the last ten years. We truly are the best of friends. We know one another, and each other’s likes and dislikes, and understand that we are each individuals, but truly love being one another’s other half.

We have made so many different memories in the last ten years, and will cherish each and every one of them, and are excited to see what next ten years, and the many years after that, hold for us as the Haney family will continue to grow. In the last ten years of our marriage, one of our struggles was the desire to have children. We have both longed to be parents, and it was our fervent belief that when the time was right, we would be blessed with the children that we have hoped and prayed for.

We believe that now, the time is right.

Our family will be growing, hopefully very soon. We have chosen to adopt, to create our forever family.

In January, we started the process to learn about the agency that we had chosen. We are working with an agency that a friend recommended, and we couldn’t be happier. We took our classes and completed A LOT of paperwork. We were fingerprinted, background checked and blood sampled, and then we had to ask for some people to say nice things about us. We were interviewed several times, and they found out we are wonderful people; we look fantastic on paper.

Once all was said and done, our home study was complete in June, and now we are waiting for that phone call to tell us they have found our children. We said we are willing to take up to three children, up to age four. We know that some might think we are crazy, but we are up for the challenge as we have been preparing to have these children for many years.

We are anxiously awaiting that phone call for our children that are being fervently prayed for by friends and family who have been amazingly supportive along our journey to become parents. The hardest part of this journey now, is the waiting. We are aware that many are awaiting the arrival of our children, just as we are to know the arrival date. At this point, we are “parents to be”, we just don’t know the due date. We will be yelling from the rooftop in jubilation when they arrive, so just listen out for shouts of happiness around our neighborhood, hopefully sometime before the end of the year. We knew on that day ten years ago when we said yes, we desperately wanted to be parents, although it may not be the way we had planned. We know that our hopes and dreams will be fulfilled all in time.

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Today, to honor the wonderful Dad that Bret will be; he is getting a bib, and some cute books-One from one of the funniest dads around.

We had to let our first baby try on the bib, again, she lets me do this.

Our Ninth Year-Love at Home

There is beauty all around, when there’s Love at Home. Love at Home…

In 2009, we decided we were tired of apartment living, well, I think we decided long before that, but in our ninth year of marriage we finally were able to achieve our dream of owning a home.

In the process of watching our home being built, it was much like building a marriage.

We started by looking, and spent time talking to others, and looking at many homes-this is much like the dating process, you like some, and then move on from some others, before you find the perfect match.

We then decided to make it official; we signed the paperwork, much like signing the marriage license, and paid a deposit. (Luckily; these days, a dowry is not required for marriage).

We then watched as a foundation was poured; any good relationship needs a solid foundation built of trust and respect.

We then watched them frame our home- just as you add frames to a marriage, to support our home, much like the support needed to make a marriage work; whether it's support emotionally, financially, or otherwise, a solid support is a must.

We then watched them pump in insulation, adding strength and courage to a marriage, and providing barriers to weather the storms of a relationship.

We continued to watch as they put in windows and doors, adding ways to enter and exit, and reminders to be open and willing to work at a relationship.

As the builders continued, they added carpet and flooring to the home, with reminders to walk softly when needed and be ready to tackle the hard things at all times.

The final step of the home building process was to add landscaping, to add beauty to the home, much like adding love to a relationship and to take the time to have special times together.

The most awaited step was moving into our home, and adding our own touches to truly make it our own. This is done with decorations, and adding the comforts of a home. This is truly like a marriage, where everyone is different, and each individual relationship has its own touches that make it unique and special, and also allowing each other to be comfortable in the relationship.

We have been truly blessed to have our home, and have it be a place of peace, refuge and love. We know our home was built for us, and just like our home as we continue to add changes, we continue to add changes to our relationship, which only makes things even better.

In our ninth year of marriage, we also added a new family member, which really made our house a home, when we added our little Elphaba to the mix.

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Our home feels complete, when it’s clean, everything is in its place, and there is Double Stuf Oreos in the Cookie Jar. And to remember our Elphie, she is getting a new dog tag that makes us both laugh. It say's "If you can read this I will lick you". Elphie is a licker, it gives people fair warning.

Day Eight-Work

Hard work brings success.

When we first got married, Bret was working at Circuit City, and I was teaching preschool at Tot Town Christian Pre-School. Bret had graduated with his Bachelor's degree a month before we got married. I continued to go to school, and thankfully with Bret's help and support graduated with my Bachelor's degree in 2003. That was truly a wonderful day, I had accomplished a goal that was very important to me. In 2008, Bret graduated with his Master's Degree- and again accomplished an important goal. We are grateful for the opportunities that we have had to further our education.

These educational opportunities, have also helped us advance in our careers. In 2006, I started working at Community Action Partnership of Kern, as a Family Advocate, and then moved on 2007 to work as the Governance Coordinator. In 2009, Bret started working for the County of Kern, and then in September, he started working as a Deputy County Administrative Officer.

We know the value of hard work, as we each work hard at our respective jobs, and then work hard to accomplish our goals for our family as well.

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Bret has to wear a tie to work every day, so today a cute tie for work.

Our Seventh Year-Communication

Think of your favorite ice cream flavor, the one you liked when you were young and it was your most favorite to get, or maybe the one that you don't pick because you are worried about the calories. The best flavor, the one that you just dream about, but maybe you just don't get very often. Think of how good it tastes, how it just makes you so happy inside because of how glorious it tastes.

Ice Cream has many amazing qualities-Homemade Ice Cream for example, takes work and time to make it perfect. You can't "hurry" the process for Homemade Ice Cream. You have to be patient, and aware of what's going on in order to have the tastiness of the Ice Cream, but it's always so worth the wait. Another type of Ice Cream, is the cheap ice cream, the kind that you don't really want to buy, except for the price is just too good to pass up. You know what happens to that Ice Cream, it gets pushed to the back of the freezer, and you find it several months later covered in ice crystals, and it ends up in the garbage because it just isn't good anymore.

When you find the "perfect" ice cream flavor for you, it's like a match has been made, and you want to tell everyone you know how wonderful it is and they need to try it as well.

Communication is much like that ice cream. Communication like homemade ice cream is a process, one that can not be rushed, it needs time and patience to have good open communication in a marriage. And like that nasty frozen ice cream that get's thrown away, communication can become like that as well, if communication isn't used and nurtured in a relationship.

Communication is important in any relationship, verbal, non-verbal, written, open, closed. We hear all of these different forms of communication. The first way Bret and I talked was through written conversation, this has it’s positives and negatives. But, it’s also the way we talk all day at work as well. I love to communicate, I love to talk, hey , It’s one of the things I excel at.

In Ten Years of marriage, we have learned how important communication is to our relationship. I love to talk things out, where Bret will stew on something, and not want to share. We have had many conversations about this, and it has gotten progressively better over time.

But, our communication with one another is so very important, because it allows us to learn and grow, and to be aware of one another’s needs, and wants. Our communication styles may be different, and varied, but they work for us.

We communicate through trials, as we go through bad days together, and then we communicate through celebrations and those are a priority in our house. I’m always looking for a reason to have a party.

As I was thinking about communication, and trials and blessings, we solve both in a similar way. It has been a long standing theme in our home, any time something bad has happened, we get ice-cream, but also when we need to celebrate, we get ice cream. Sometimes, this has meant taking walks to McDonalds to get sundaes, or consoling tears in Rosemary’s ice-cream. Overall, it seems to either dull the pain, or put a spark in a celebration.

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In a spirit of remembering communication in our marriage… Dewars’s it is. For a Celebration

Our Sixth Year-Team

We are a team, it may be a team of two; but it’s a great team. When I am hitting foul balls, Bret seems to be able to swoop in and hit a grand slam, and when Bret is hitting grounders, I can save the day with a home run.

Bret has been a baseball fan from the time he was little, and I think in about the sixth year of marriage, I finally completely understood the game. I asked a lot of questions so that when we watched the Dodgers play, I could know what was going on, it also furthered the importance of understanding how a team works.

After ten years of marriage, we know each other’s needs and Bret understands my idiosyncrasies, and loves me in spite of them. Sometimes, I am very needy, and want the crowd to do a wave, where Bret is content to hide in the dugout waiting for his turn at bat.

We understand the meaning of team, and support each other- this means things like Bret vacuums because he can endure that easier then cleaning the bathroom. It also means we work together to get things done, and feel satisfied with our accomplishments.

We come together as a team to make decisions, whether it’s a little one, like what to eat for dinner or a big one, like where are we going to live.

During our marriage, we have had many opportunities to show off our team to others, as we have showed that our marriage is truly a team effort and we support one another, and together we can win any game.
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For thesixth day, we’re going to celebrate teamwork by going to see our favorite team!

Our Fifth Year-Laughter

One of the first things I liked about Bret was a quote he had and loved “It was so funny, I laughed until I stopped”. Child’s laughter is one of my most favorite sounds in the world, it makes me so very happy. And second to that, is when Bret is laughing, and really laughing. I love when something truly makes him laugh (listening to him watch Whose line is it anyways”) is a sure bet that I will get a good melody of laughter.

One of my favorite quotes is by Marjorie P. Hinckley “I can laugh about it, or cry about it, and crying gives me a headache”. This is so very true. Laughter burns more calories, and is just all the way around it, good for you. In ten years of marriage, there have been many moments of laughter, and sometimes, it truly is the “best medicine”.

In our fifth year of marriage, we were back in the hospital for another diagnosis, Bret is special. This time he had Cytomegalovirus which for most people is a cold, for Bret, it came as a severe infection landing him in the hospital a month, and 2 weeks in ICU. Now, this was an incredibly scary time, but also brought with it, bouts of laughter. During this time, Bret had a fever and they were constantly icing him down, which became very frustrating, because the last thing you want with a fever is to be iced down. One night after 12 hours of icing, a nurse came in, and Bret was done. The nurse insisted, to which Bret mumbled “Why don’t you just shove it up my *&%”. To which the nurse asked what he said, I through trying not to laugh, had to respond that he didn’t want any more ice at that moment. This visit also had a little old lady complaining about how much the nurse was in with Bret, which earned him the nickname “nurse hog”. I even made him a shirt.

Luckily, our times of laughter don’t come just from sitting in the hospital. That was a huge part of our marriage, but times of laughter come on a regular basis. As we all know, Bret is witty, and can garner a laugh quite easily. However, a common theme for me, is that I work for my laughs, I have to try really hard to be funny. So, when I get a good one, I work for my accolades of laughter.

We love to laugh, and enjoy making one another laugh, and appreciate all of the people in our lives who make us laugh all the time.

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Today, Bret get's snickers to remind him of laughter, and just so happens to be his favorite candy.

Our Fourth Year-Fun!

An important element in a marriage is FUN! We have truly tried to make every effort to have fun in the last ten years. Whether it was from planning fun little getaways- Bret planned to take me whale watching for my birthday several years ago. We ended up “water watching” but we still had fun doing it. We also have had other fun getaways, our cruise, Disneyland, visits to sisters in Vermont and Washington. These all top the list of fun memories.

Then there are things that make life fun on a more routine scale: Saturday lunch dates, game nights with friends, playing Guitar Hero, and watching baseball games.

Though, truly just being together is fun, we truly enjoy one another, and are constantly looking for fun things to do. Neither one of us sit still very long- so it may be an impromptu run to play miniature golf, or playing cards together, but we’re looking for ways to find things to make times fun.

I hate being in the car, and so long car trips are not my first choice, but we’ve even managed to make those bearable- it means sometimes I come up with crazy questions for Bret that even with his crazy trivia knowledge he just looks at me odd. (Thank goodness for Wikipedia, when I get on those kicks)

Ultimately, we both believe that we can make anything fun, (Bret may beg to differ about the gym being fun, but I enjoy it). Our marriage is full of fun happy memories, and we are continuing to makemore each and every day.

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Today, Bret will get a swimsuit to use on our next FUN Adventure, we’re going to Hawaii in 41 days.

We can’t wait for the fun memories we will make there.

Our Third Year-Strength

Our Third Year of Marriage, was something you would never ever want to imagine. Bret was diagnosed with Cancer on November 18, 2003. This was also the year when I lost my best friend, and my aunt. It was a challenging year to say the least. We heard the statistics, and knew that we were going to beat them. We had a fantastic doctor in Dr. Cartmell, and had faith in him, and the fantastic nurses that we were blessed with. We had to learn to develop strength together, and with some great spiritual forces. It has been said of cancer, that it can either tear a relationship apart, or make it so strong that it will never break. We were determined to allow the latter to happen. We heard the statistics, and were determined to not allow our marriage, or life become a number. We knew we would beat the odds on both counts. It was not easy that’s for sure. We had been married for 3 years, and were dealt a blow to a healthy 25 year old man. A childhood cancer, we laughed a lot about that, Bret has always been a little child like. We decided that November day, and for the many days, months and years after that, we would allow this diagnosis to merely be a setback on our journey. We would battle through it, and come out gracefully on the other side. Now, on the road, there was not a whole lot of grace- lack of sleep, a ton of medicine, and crazy hospital stays will challenge any normally sane person, but we did it. We look back now, and wonder how. I vividly recall many nights driving home from the hospital, and getting off the freeway, not quite sure how I got there. I was working from 6:00 a.m.-1:00 and then to the hospital, and then home at 11:00 p.m. and then up in the morning to start again. But, there were times in the hospital, when I would climb in that bed next to Bret, and we would get to talk, and share moments together that were just amazing. We were grateful as we developed the strength that we were eternally blessed, at one point, Bret’s name was on ten different temple prayer rolls, and we are ever grateful for that blessing; we know that because of our temple covenants, we were blessed, and continually being watched over, as we were strengthened continually by that knowledge and blessing.

We are truly grateful for the strength that he had to heal, and the strength that we have used over the last ten years of our marriage to continue to grow. Our strength has been tested many, many times over the last ten years, but each time, it adds another notch in our growing “strength belt”.

I am grateful that through trials, and tribulations, in life, in marriage, and anything else we may go through, we are strengthened.

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Day Three- A reminder of Strength, as he continues to grow stronger.

Our Second Year-Quite a Pair!

Paradox, Pair of dice, Pairs, Pears-

In our second year of marriage, we really did learn how to be a "pair". We truly became The Haney's, and I loved hearing it. I got used to my new last name, and we established great routines. We realized that we really were a pair, and a great one. About this same time, we completed a personality profile, and found out some things about ourselves. The descriptions of the personalities are below, and it turns out that I am Sanguine-Choleric: After much reading, it is very much true. And then Bret is Phlegmatic-Melancholy. These personality styles compliment each other very well.

.1. SANGUINE : Sanguine is a sociable person. they laugh for the hard days,wise words when squeezed by the burden, creative, enthusiasm, and always have the energy to start. Sanguine love to be popular. They have a lot of friends. They love to talk, to perform, help each other and they always curious. Sanguine love to be children forever.

2. CHOLERIC : Choleric is a strong person. they have a strong leadership.They are faithful, brave, and have the freedom to be on one's own. Strong-willed and assertive, goal oriented, well organized, and they don't really need friends. They always be the superior one in the emergency time.

3. MELANCHOLIC: Melancholies is a sensitive person. depth to see the heart and soul of life. Artistic to appreciate the art.They are toughtfully, analytical, serious, and have a talent. they are perfectionist, so they love details.

4. PHLEGMATIC: Phlegmatic is a peaceful person. they are always stable, patient, and have a compassion for the other. They always keep clam,when the other was in confusion.they are humble, silent, controlled, good listener, and always happy with their life. They always be the mediator, and easy to get along with.

These personality styles made our "pair" even stronger. Bret is the calm to my storm. We each have our strengths and weaknesses, and they play very well on one another. I am glad to know that our pair is strong, and has only become stronger over the years. We know what each other needs, and wants, and when we don't, we work to figure it out.

In our second year as we learned to be a pair, we established some great routines, some of them- if I make dinner, Bret did the dishes. I was still going to school, and so Bret was working hard, including Saturdays, which were great cleaning days for me. These were also the days when Bret came home, it was quite evident that I hadn't talked to anyone all day, and it is very important to get my words out. We learned how important it was to be dependent on one another, as we worked hard to accomplish goals and truly showed one another how much we loved one another.

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For Day Two: Bret will get a Pair of Socks to remember how important it is to be part of a pair.

Our First Year!

It's hard to believe we've been married for Ten Years, where does the time go? Well, we have spent the last Ten Years learning a lot of things about one another, and each year has brought many different memories with it. So, for the next ten days, I am going to share what we have learned in each of the years we have been married. So, hope you enjoy the ride as much as we have.

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In our first year of marriage, we learned how to live with each other. Bret had never lived on his own, and I had spent all of my life living with girls, so it was a new and interesting experience.

We learned how to share a bathroom, and how much I HATE getting up in the morning. We learned that I don't load the dishwasher according to Bret's plan. In that first year of marriage, the biggest thing we had to figure out was how to eat together. When we were dating, we joked a lot that we really didn't know how we would be able to eat together. Bret is not fond of vegetables, and loves all different kinds of meat, and I am quite the opposite. We worked to find compromises, and tried many different meals until we found some things that worked. We were grateful that we lived close to several fast food places, and the running joke was that, we would try something new, but if it bombed, off to McDonald's we went. This meant, we never tried something new on Sundays, we didn't want to be left without an out. Eventually, during that year, and in the next nine; we figured out how to eat together, and have learned that we are each good cooks. We still do have some meals that we won't eat, and there are times that we do have separate meals. Bret has to cook pork chops when I'm not home, and I make stir fry or artichokes when he's not around. But, Bret has come a long way, one of his favorite meals is Chicken Broccoli Macaroni and Cheese, I think that's saying something. We are glad that we figured out how to eat together, and that we have eaten very well for the last 10 years.

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I decided that I wanted to do something special for Bret, and for the next 10 days, as I share what we have learned, I have something for him to go along with the day. So, for today, I am making his favorite meal, so Lasagna and homemade rolls await for what we've learned in our first year of marriage. I also made one of his most favorite treats, Oatmeal Chocolate Chip cookies.

4th of July

On the 3rd of July, we braved the 100+ degree heat, and went to Shafter for the Fireworks show. It was so stinkin' hot, but it was a good show. Nice way to start the Holiday.
On the 4th, we went to our Wards Breakfast, and then went to see Larry Crowne, it was a cute movie. (Funny Story) Before the movie started, an older gentleman leaned over to Bret, and said "Do you realize that you two are the youngest people in here"? Sure enough, we were, and after the movie, we felt like we should have joined them all for the senior special at Sizzler.

We then went to a BBQ and between all of the people in the neighborhood, and all of the illegals, we had a fantastic fireworks show.

With Bret's new camera skills, he had fun playing with the camera.

I believe this is the first time I have ever had a sparkler, I was trying to spell my name, but I was doing it the wrong way.
We think we were enjoying a nice firework display courtesy of Grimway Farms, the compound happens to be a couple of miles from our house.

Night Pictures

Bret took a class at Henley's to learn how to take pictures at night with his camera. I thought they came out pretty cool, and wanted to share.

This is my favorite one of the night, I just love how cool it looks.
This is Bret's favorite, do you stop or go?

Bakersfield's Fox Theater, looks neat all lit up.

Congrats Katelyn and Nick

Katelyn and Nick are Engaged!

We are so excited for them, and happy to have another Brother in Law in our family.

They are getting married in the Newport Beach Temple, and we are happy to celebrate with them.

Bret's New Toy

For Bret's Birthday, Elphie (I) got Bret a remote controlled F-150 to play with, because I felt bad that I couldn't get him the truck that he has wanted forever. He was excited to have a new toy to play with, so we immediately took it out.
Elphie was scared of it, until I put treats in the back, and then she tolerated it.
Well, then on Memorial Day, Bret saw an ad in the Newspaper, and I am not one to turn down a Sale, and so we went to check it out.

This was a Sale that we couldn't turn down, and so we came home with an even bigger toy.
This is quite an upgrade from the 1998 Ford Ranger that didn't have working A/C or automatic doors or windows. Bret is one Happy Camper, and this is a birthday to remember. Bret doesn't usually name his cars, but upon registering for Sync, it asked for the nickname, because Bret was being indecisive, it currently says "It doesn't have a name". So, we're looking for your creativity, what should the trucks name be? Have Fun!

Happy Birthday Bret

Bret had a nice birthday. We had a nice dinner with Friends, and then opened presents.

He opened his present from Elphie, they got a remote control car to play with together.
I got him the best birthday card ever!
We went to my parents on Sunday to see Katelyn, Nick and Makenda, and to celebrate Bret's Birthday.
I'm so happy to be able to celebrate with my cute husband. Love Him!

Sleepover Time

Our dear friends Alan and Amy Rasmussen moved to San Diego. And they had to go find a place to live, so they asked us to watch their kids for the weekend. We were delighted, we love Halle, Michael and Kate. They came over on Friday night to sleep over and then on Saturday morning Bret made us Breakfast.

We were excited to see what we could do with the kids, so we started by going to the Farmers Market, and then were excited to go see the Pink Fire Trucks. I was excited to have a legitimate reason to go. These firetrucks go all over the country, and happened to be in Bakersfield this weekend.
Michael didn't want his picture taken, it was the best we could do.
They let people sign on the truck in honor of survivors, Halle was excited to sign her name.
I love this picture, and these kids, they just make me happy.
The mascots, Smokey the Bear (did you know that it is against the law to use his name in vain) Hoot Pollute guy (I don't know) and the Fire Dept Dalmatian.
The cool pink firetruck. This was so fun for a girl who loves pink.
The kids got to get in the firetruck.
Kate knew just what to do.

After the firetrucks, we got a picnic lunch of happy meals and headed to the park.
I got to swing, and ended up putting Kate to sleep.

And the kids were happy to play and play, until it was time to go.
And then it was time for dinner, and we told the kids they were making dinner. We had english muffin pizzas, and let them make it just how they wanted it.
Kate loves the camera, the second you get it out, she is following you yelling Cheese.
"Uncle Bret" enjoying the day.
And Elphie loved having playmates for the weekend.
We will miss the Rasmussen's so very much, but are excited they moved somewhere fun to visit.